A decade in lessons and realizations (2000-2019)

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  • Love is not enough to make a relationship work.

  • Don’t stay in a relationship just because you crave the feeling of being loved.

  • Don’t just hand yourself out to anybody who is willing to take you.

  • Nobody gets to decide how you feel except yourself.

  • Feminism is not enough if it isn’t intersectional.

  • The patriarchy damages men, too. Deeply.

  • You cannot distinguish the patriarchy from racism, from homophobia, from transphobia, from ableism.

  • Relationships work when everybody involved works on the relationship.

  • Some people are just wrong, and that’s okay. It doesn’t need to be my job to correct them.

  • Boundaries are not mean, nor they make me bitchy or high-maintenance. They are necessary.

  • I would not be who I am today without my village.

  • We need to dream bigger.

  • Studying abroad was one of the best choices I ever made; I need to travel more.

  • It is best to be honest with myself and with others about my feelings.

  • I get antsy and frustrated when I feel trapped.

  • How others feel is not my responsibility.

  • Not all news, data, nor every headline is equally honest or true.

  • “Nice” people can still make poor decisions.

  • The key to financial peace is being completely happy with living with enough. And for many people, that means living below what you believe is your “means.”

  • Enough is far less than we all think it is.

  • Textile is the second leading greatest pollutant globally.

  • Buying things will not make me happy, and buying more things is bad for the environment.

  • The accumulation of massive wealth without contribution to making the world a better place is unethical.

  • I deserve love and I deserve equality in all of my relationships.

  • People don’t know what you want or how you want to be treated unless you tell them.

  • It is okay to take a break from a relationship—any kind of relationship.

  • I am a powerful, strong, intelligent, and profoundly loving person.

  • I’m a pretty good writer.

  • If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.

  • Debt is not an emergency.

  • Our oppression does not absolve us of our privileges, ignorance, or wrongdoings.

  • I have the ability to create multiple sources of income.

  • It is completely okay to simultaneously both love and care for people and to create space in relationships when caring for them impacts you. This does not lessen your love for them.

  • You cannot coach people who do not desire to change their current situation.

  • Personal responsibility is one of my biggest personal values.

  • It is not my burden to anticipate how others feel.

  • I do not need to feel bad about leaving a company; that company will survive without me. Employees are replaceable, and companies will survive. Employee loyalty rarely benefits the employee.

  • My worth is not defined by how much I work. I am an innately worthy human being.

  • Question any and all money advice.

Joanne Machin